Steve 'Brasslands' Brassey

Age: 32 Position: Fullback/Flyhalf Weight: 83KG Nationality: British

A Rhino ever present since 2001, Steve has a slightly more talented twin brother called Mark (on the left). A former 2nd XV player of the year, he now spends more time in his home town of Rugby building his Brasslands empire, but still puts in some many big performances. Scored two tries in last seasons epic 2nd half comeback win against Welwyn.

Kiwi Matt Brown

Age: 26 Position: Back-row Weight: 87KG Nationality: Kiwi

Some say he's pretty light for a hooker. Others say he's too young to manage a Cocktails and Dreams bar. But that only encourages Browner more. After all, he is like a young Larry Flint (pre-shooting). Matt has been a 1st team regular since he had his first mini-fillet burger in Wood Green. He's potentially the second most important person when it comes to the future of the Rhinos, as he orders the spirits and semi-pro-dancers... oh, and he's also got a mullet.

Johann Burger

Age: 20 Position: Prop Weight: 127KG Nationality: South African

The new prop from South Africa is 127kg of pure muscle and is known as beast to his teammates. At only 20years old, he has established himself as the first choice prop for the 1st XV and is an awesome addition to the club. He has a great travel case and likes to hang out with celebrities at his hotel.

Matt Borich

Age: 23 Position: Wing Weight: 89KG Nationality: Kiwi

Formely known as Psycho, Borich enjoyed a colourful first season at the club, scoring plenty of tries, seeing a few yellows and constantly repairing Fletch's Punto. Oh, and he also bagged 22 tries, which is no mean feat. Definite FITTY.

Dave Buller

Age: 33 Position: Prop Weight: 102KG Nationality: British

The vodka pit stop prop. Back after an enforced lay-off due to gammy knees, big Bully has made a promising start to the season. He’s a top scrummager who’s settled in well. Prone to running out of taxis at traffic lights and returning with treasure…